Monday, July 2, 2012

The Weight of Food Tantrums


Lilly has struggled to gain weight like a normal baby should. She is small. Her parents are small, so what can people expect. The Nurse, who we take Lilly to get weighed and get her shots, wanted her to gain 150 grams a week. She was gaining anywhere from 80-120, so Lizbe (our nurse) put her on 150 ml of formula a day. I felt like such a terrible mother because my baby wasn’t gaining enough weight and I was the food supply. My parents had just left after two weeks of constant on the go, and I got sick right after they left. But I didn’t factor any of that in. I was just a terrible mother who wasn’t producing enough milk, and to top it off my baby refused any and every bottle put in her mouth. Gary and I fought her for two weeks with bottles. I couldn’t take her screaming any more so I decided to start her on cereal.  She was just barely 3 months old and I know that is a huge no no in some people’s books but my mom did it with my brothers so it did with Lilly. She LOVED it. She still isn’t gaining weight like a normal baby should be but we took her into the pediatrician at 4 months and he said “look at you (pointing at Gary and myself), you are short. Don’t expect her to be BIG when you guys aren’t”. I told him about giving her cereal and he didn’t even flinch. He said that is fine. She is now eating rice or corn cereal and either apples or bananas.  She loves it.
Sunday she threw her first temper tantrum… Sundays are always rough on her because she misses her morning nap. She doesn’t sleep very well in her car seat. She is a social baby and wants to know what is going on around her ( a little bit like her momma). She fights sleep even when we are home. Once a month we have a fellowship lunch at the church after the morning Service. Lilly took several 15minute snoozes in my arms but was pretty much a fussy pants. I fixed her cereal, which she usually devours, took her to the cry room (she likes to have milk after she eats her cereal) and proceeded to give it to her. She threw her hand in bowl and screamed. A scream I had never heard out of my child before.  She was mad, she wanted milk not that stuff.  I cleaned her up then fed her. Afterwards I asked a woman in our church who I highly respect with the way they discipline their children “When do you start spanking?”  She advised me that if she is misbehaving spank her. Just lightly slap her on her hand so that she knows what she did is bad. You know I never have had a problem spanking my nieces or nephews but to spank my own child, it hurts. You know all those years of hearing my dad say “this is going to hurt me more then it hurts you” is so true. I never believed him at those moments of sitting on his bed waiting for my punishment, but now I know how true it is. It is torture to spank…

3 comments:

  1. But more torture not to spank. That picture is going to be used in a wedding video one day....

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. (forgot something...sorry!) she is adorable! Ruth-- of course we spank our kids. i advise you to talk with your mom and dad about this one thing. I think Lilly is MUCH too young to spank. that should really start at 11 or 12 months when they start walking--- with the first "battle" usually their new found freedom with totting around, when you say "come to momma and get your diaper changed.... and pat the ground, they grin big, decide quickly, turn around and RUN the other way. the first time you tell them sternly NO NO, get up and get them by the hand. walk them to the place you wanted them and state clearly LAY DOWN LIKE MOMMA SAID. OBEY. Momma said come here!.... then when it happens again. (like the NEXT diaper change :) then you swat. Once, likely all that will be needed b/c it will startle here. consider these types of interaction really training. Because true discipline comes with willful defiance. when they are that little they can't really make a decision to defy you. make sense? maybe i'm off on how old she is, but she's less than 6 months, right? BE CAREFUL. i would not advise that yet. Ask your dad and mom. if i am voted down, disregard. (i would be terrified to discipline that early. Not only that, you can get into a mess, legally, if someone sees you do that and dials a certain number, you know? Gretch is RIGHT....IT IS more torture NOT to spank. you do NOT want a bratty , disrespectful child. and it is a steep learning curve on the first child. An INFANT acting up should be scooped up, and go right to their crib. lights off. door closed. no cuddling, rocking, etc. No new mom ever will tell you that a very small baby can bring very big emotions out of a parent. THEY CAN. this is what cribs are for. time out for the momma and baby. Time out after age 12 months or so.... for the birds in most cases, unless it is to get themselves together AFTER a discipline measure has taken place. Maybe your family does this different? take a poll from them. and you are right. it IS hard to engage them, when the time comes. so hard. but it makes HAPPY children who know where their boundaries are, when done correctly. Also, for awhile, because it seems this was provoked by missing a nap, you (may) have to reschedule your activities to make SURE she gets her nap. Your job to let life happen to her around her schedule so that she has had what she needs. (yes, this can sometimes mean missing church or an afternoon small group....or not going to a Bible study b/c the times are "off" ...not a sin!! b/c she is your first priority! LOVE YOU, TAB

    ReplyDelete