Saturday, August 28, 2010

My Heart is in Africa

My whole life I have dreamed of being married and raising a family. There were years where I doubted that was what God had planned for me. I was convinced he had other plans. I knew God was calling me to Africa.  The first day I stepped foot in Kibera I knew God wanted me on this continent. I was coming to terms with my singleness. I was learning that God can use me even if I am not married. I still desired to be married, but I was happy where God had placed me.
Two months ago I was convinced that God wanted me to stay for long term in South Africa. It scared me to think about. Was I willing to put aside me desires for a husband and live on the Mission Field the rest of my life? The following month I contacted MTW, while I was still praying for wisdom of what to do. I learned what needed to be done to either extend my internship for a couple more months or to proceed with the 2 year program. I was prayerfully considering what God’s plan was. I was confident God wanted me in South Africa, but part of me was saying “Lord, are you sure you want me to do this alone?” I knew I would never be alone because God would always be with me, but my desire for a husband was still there.
Then one Saturday I received a text from a friend of mine here in Cape Town. Just asking me how my weekend was going. That one text has now turned into a total life changing event. This friend is now more than just a friend. He has become more. With that one text God opened the door for our friendship to flourish. We are now dating, with the future hope of marriage.
He is a student here at the Bible Institute where I live. He will be graduating in November with the hopes of joining the staff at his home Church in the in the Northern Part of Cape Town. He is a godly man who wants to serve the Lord with his whole being. I have for years been praying that if God did plan on providing a husband for me that he would be a godly man who had a heart for Africa. My heart was stolen by Africa the first time I stepped foot in Kenya and now not only has God provided a godly man but one that feels called to serve God’s people here in South Africa, Gary’s home country.  
I am constantly reminded that when I put my whole trust in God, he does things better than I could imagine. Romans 8:28 reads “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Tim Keller paraphrases Romans 8:28 as “God gives you what you would have asked for if you knew what he knows”. It is so true! I am thankful that God works things out HIS way and not mine. My ways are tainted with selfishness. When I try to do things the way I want them done is when my world starts to crumble and things start to fall apart; but when I allow God to do his sovereign will in my life things turn out better than I could have imagined.
I am glad that He makes us wait for the answer, because in the waiting we learn to lean on Him and to trust him with all things. Isaiah 43:1b-3a has meant a great deal to me over the past few years as I was trying find Gods will for me. It says “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior...” He is with us in those moments when we feel we need an answer now. He loves us so much that he won’t let harm come to us. He loves us and knows what’s best for us!
Thank you Father for having me wait for your perfect timing! Thank you for teaching me to trust you. And thank you for putting Gary in my life and allowing me to continue to serve you in a continent that I have grown to love.