The Joys of Working from Home

Lilly is a very sweet little girl. She loves people and is very sociable, but her two favorite people in the World are me and Gary. Of course that is who takes care of her so naturally that is right. We have been blessed these past few years to have Gary be able to work from home.  He does go to work a few times a week, to lead bible studies, but he is home 75% of the week. Lilly recently has realized what it looks like if Gary is leaving.  She gets very clingy to him and follows him all over the house until he does eventually leave. And when he does go out the door, she sits at the door and looks longingly or starts to cry. She doesn't really know what it is like to have mommy or daddy gone from her...Usually mommy is with her all the time except for the those short 3 hrs on Wed when I go and tutor and Memaw watches her. So its hard for her when Daddy leaves and she isn't going with....She usually always goes with.

Today Gary is working on his Good Friday Sermon in the bedroom. He has the door shut…Lilly all day today couldn't figure out why the door was actually shut. After I took Gary his tea, I didn't latch the door and Lilly was able to push it open. You would have thought she had just won a million dollars. It was a huge smile on her face to see Daddy sitting behind the closed door. 

One Year of being a Mommy

 Can it really be a year already? I just can't fathom. This year has been wonderful. New learning experiences. and I finally feel like I am getting the hang of this motherhood thing. But what happen to that tiny little baby we brought home from the hospital this time last year.

She has blossomed into a beautiful little Girl. She is full of life. She loves to play, she loves to dance. She wants her mommy involved in what she is doing, but she is ok going off into her room to play by herself. She is weaned. As much as I didn't enjoy nursing, I miss those moments of snuggling with her. Now she doesn't sit still long enough to even finish her bottle at one go, she takes a good 45 mins of coming back and forth to her bottle. She wants to walk every where, except she really isn't confident to do it by her self just yet. and as much as I would love for her to walk independently I am missing my little baby girl so much. No its not time for Gary and I to have another one. As much as I would love it, its just not a good time for us, with all the changes that will take place this year. But Lilly is no longer a baby, she is a toddler. And this mommy's heart is sore because of it. I have to say I don't miss the multiple middle of night feeds, and explosive diapers in the middle of the night, or the I can't get this kid to go back to sleep moments; but I do miss the little baby girl. But I am grateful that I am a mommy. I have always wanted this, and I am enjoying it so much. She is learning more and more everyday. and even though she just babels, we talk often. and I love it. I love her big toothless smile, and Her CRAZY hair, and her sweet personality. She will always be my first baby, the one that made me a mommy. I love you Lillian Christine. God truly has blessed me by putting you into my life and making me your mommy.

Photo Dump 1

Mommy's baby is getting too BIG

 My baby girl is almost 11 months old...Where has the time gone? She has almost completely weaned herself. She only nurses in the morning these days and gets bottles the rest of the day and for bed time.

 Its a little heart breaking for this mommy; My favorite time with Lilly has always been when i would feed her and rock her before I put her in her crib for bed. But lately, as soon as her bottle is empty she sit right up and reaches for her bed. Doesn't she realize mommy wants to Snuggle. She is my baby and I need her snuggle, I want her to snuggle...This mommy loves snuggling, and her baby girl just doesn't want to do it anymore at night; if her bed is near by and she is tired, she wants her bed.

She is a mommy's girl She doesn't like mommy to do things with out her. She reminds me a lot of Aunt Gretchen: She plays with her hair when she gets tired, she hates to be hot, and she wants mommy close by. I am grateful though that she will stay with Granddad and Memaw with out any issues. (which isn't like Aunt Gretchen, more like her mommy). She loves music, and dances as soon as she hears the set of notes. We have been watching "friends" lately and as soon as the them song comes on Lilly starts dancing. It is so cute.

She isn't walking yet, but she pulls up on EVERYTHING (even kids just a few months older then her) and wants to CLIMB everything. Yesterday at Church, Gary was in the office printing the bulletins for Sunday and I was getting the hall ready for Bible Study, Lilly was playing quietly on the floor. But the next thing I know she has crawled into the sanctuary and up the steps and is on the stage. The problem with this is is she doesn't know how to get back down. I have tried to show her, but when I try to move her she thinks I am picking her up. I know she will get the hang of it eventually.

She is still Tiny. We haven't taken her into the nurse to get weighed, but I am guessing she is around 6.5 to 7 kg ( 14.3-15.5 lbs). She is still in 3-6 months clothes and she still wears some 0-3 month as long as they are T shirts or Shorts and not Onsies. She is going to be smaller then I was at a year, but that is ok. She loves to eat and loves her bottles, she is just tiny. Her daddy was a small baby as well, so she doesn't have much hope. Just hoping if we have boys they get Uncle Davids genes in the height area. Except soccer players don't need to be tall :)

She is the cutest baby in the world and I love her.

One of those days

Do you ever feel like any moment the damns are about to break and anything can set off? Well that has been me all day.

My hormones are a little bit crazy at moment, but I just feel like I am going to loose it, and I did...changing a diaper.

 my baby girl... She got her 9 month shots yesterday. The first one she hardly cried, but the second one, she ripped mine, Gary's  as well as the nurse hearts out, with her tears and can't catch your breath crying. It was awful. So she was a little fussy yesterday... She is teething and now she got her Measles and Whooping Cough shots so she is just a mess. I wound up having a migraine yesterday afternoon (thanks hormones and weather), so needless to say I barely had any energy today. and my clingy little girl who only wanted Mommy just wore me out. It is so nice to be loved and wanted...I miss when she was 6 weeks old and I could just snuggle her all day, But it can be overwhelming at times too. I love her playful, busy little self, but today that wasn't her. She wanted to play, but she was miserable. Her mouth hurts and she doesn't feel 100% because of stupid shots. Her whine today tore me apart... She does this thing where she whines cruises over to me, i pick her up and she lays her head down on my chest and sucks her thumb, then looks at me and cries...as if to say mommy help me, I don't feel well. It breaks my heart.

During her 5th poopy diaper change of the day, she just started wailing, as if in pain. She does have a diaper rash...looking back on the situation that is probably why she was crying, but at the moment I lost it. I started crying and telling her I didn't know what to do, tell me what to do...Gary kindly came in and took over...

Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Who ever says being a mommy is easy has never been a mommy. Its days like today that make me wish my momma and sisters lived close by.

Powerful Poisons come in small packages

This is an Afrikaans saying, and it so applies to Lilly.

I am one tired momma. I am thankful she is sleeping through the night which she started doing at about 6 1/2 months. Because she is constantly going. She use to get so frustrated that she couldn't get where she wanted to go. Then she started crawling and would get frustrated that she wasn't fast enough. Now she is crawling all over the house and she is pulling up on everything she can. She wants my attention a lot of the time and barely takes naps. She takes a short nap in the morning then crashes right after lunch and sleeps for several hours (which I am thankful for) then she may or may not take another short nap later in the afternoon. She is so busy she didn't gain any weight from her 7 month check to her 8 month check and only grew 1/2 a cm. so She is still tiny.

Time to lower the mattress....

8 month pic...Wearing Aunt Heathers dress Papa bought for her to come home int he hospital...it was to big for heather at birth but fits Lilly perfectly at 8 months

Loving these pigtails

She has a great appetite...She will eat anything we give her...just hopes this last 

will pull up on anything, but hasn't quite figured out how to get back down

She is definitely a sinner, and wants her own way. It took 45 mins for her to eat her cereal one morning, because mommy wasn't going fast enough and she was throwing fits...Daddy had to keep taking her to the bed room and spank her and bring her back after she was calm. It was quite an ordeal. But she is just so darn cute, even when she is crying out of frustration she is cute...which makes discipline hard for me.  

Please Excuse the Mess, My Family is Making Memories

In the 1 1/2 years of Gary and I being married, I cannot tell you how many times I start crying because I feel I  am a terrible wife because I just can't seem to keep the house clean. Our first home was on a farm so it was ALWAYS dusty and dirty, no matter how much I swept there was always dirt on the floor. We don't have a dishwasher so there is always dishes to be done. And now with a 8 month old, who takes poor naps, I  can never find the time to do much around the house. It is always my goal to get the laundry done, especially if it is a Sunny Day because we don't have a dyer ( I am thankful for a Washing Machine, we ran out of washing powder last month and I did one load by hand. I have to say Gary was sick and I can't drive his car so i was stuck to do it by hand until my mother in law saw me and went and bought me washing powder {makes me very grateful for my machine even more}. ) But if i get the laundry washed and hung on the line and getting dinner made is all I get done in one day then I am very lucky.  Gary tells me not worry about it, but all I think about is all those times I got into trouble as a kid for being messy. I am not a neat freak like my sister. I struggle to stay organized, it might have something to do with my learning disability but I don't know. I get stressed out when I have to organize stuff. Heather use to help me when i was at home with all my organizing. She even packed my bags when I came to Cape Town the first time.

Last month when Gary was sick, so sick he didn't leave the bed for a week and had a fever in the 40C/ 104F. I had to take care of him and Lilly and make sure Lilly didn't get sick as well. One day i had to go to the shops so My Father in Law came and picked me up and my Mother in law stayed with Lilly. My house looked like a tornado had hit it, but I was so exhausted every night after Lilly went to bed that I just couldn't think of cleaning. I was so embarrassed because our messiest part the house was our bedroom and my mother in law sat in there to chat with Gary while Lilly was sleeping. Gary reassured me that his parents didn't care and they understood that I have a baby and a sick husband, but all the moments of getting in trouble growing up for having a messing bedroom kept flooding back to me.

I cannot tell you how many times I have cried on Gary's shoulder about this issue and he keeps telling me that he and Lilly are my main priority and if the house work doesn't get done then it doesn't get done. We don't live in a house but a home, and to get over it. He tells me if I get one chore done a day then to be happy with that. But I fear people think I am Lazy...I mean what do I do all day, I'm a stay at home mom. I take care of a baby, which is a full time job.

So my new painting for our walls is going to be "Please Excuse the Mess, My Family is Making Memories"...mostly to remind myself that we don't live in a house but a home and Lilly and our future children are more important and I want them to know that Mommy wants to spend time with them instead of the dishes, vacuum and bleach. And I want them to have GOOD memories growing up...

My new painting

And when Lilly gets old enough and if more children come along I hope to start her and them with age appropriate chores.